Looking for funny New Year’s quotes to make everyone laugh as the clock strikes midnight?
You’ve found the right place! Whether you’re planning your New Year’s party captions, sending out hilarious wishes, or just want to start the year with a smile, these quotes are all you need.
Every section here is full of humor that’s easy to share — because laughter is the best way to welcome a brand-new year!
🥂 Funny New Year’s Eve Quotes
Best Pick: New Year’s Eve is the only night you can’t remember but still call a celebration.
- May all your troubles last as long as your resolutions – Joey Adams
- New Year’s Eve: where we make promises we’ll forget tomorrow – Unknown
- My favorite workout is raising a glass at midnight – Unknown
- I can’t believe it’s been a year since I didn’t become a better person – Unknown
- Don’t wait for midnight; start the fun early – Unknown
- Champagne: because no great story started with salad – Unknown
- My New Year’s Eve outfit is 50% sparkle, 50% regret – Unknown
- I plan to change this year… just not tonight – Unknown
- Cheers to a new year and another chance to mess it up – Oprah Winfrey
- This year’s party plan: survive till midnight – Unknown
- Every toast sounds wiser after two drinks – Unknown
- The countdown begins… and so does the confusion – Unknown
- I wish calories didn’t count during New Year’s Eve – Unknown
🍾 Funny New Year’s Resolutions Quotes
Best Pick: My New Year’s resolution is to stop making resolutions.
- I’ll start exercising… once my snacks are finished – Unknown
- My resolution is to eat healthy, but pizza doesn’t count, right? – Unknown
- I plan to read more… captions on memes – Unknown
- My goal this year is to remember my goals – Unknown
- I promise to stop procrastinating… tomorrow – Unknown
- Resolutions are like diets — easy to start, hard to stick to – Unknown
- My New Year’s resolution is to not be perfect, just awesome – Unknown
- I resolve to be less lazy… eventually – Unknown
- I’m giving up alcohol, again, starting after this drink – Unknown
- My goal for 2025: less stress, more snacks – Unknown
- I’m not making resolutions; I’m making reservations – Unknown
- My resolution is to lose weight, but I found it again in the fridge – Unknown
- Resolutions are great, but naps are better – Unknown
🎊 Funny New Year Wishes
Best Pick: May your troubles be as short-lived as your resolutions.
- Wishing you a new year full of laughter and zero awkward moments – Unknown
- May your Wi-Fi be strong and your hangover mild – Unknown
- Happy New Year! Let’s do this adulting thing… next week – Unknown
- Here’s to another year of pretending to have it all together – Unknown
- New Year, same you, because you’re awesome – Unknown
- May your 2025 be like champagne — bubbly and bright – Unknown
- Cheers to fewer bad decisions and better snacks – Unknown
- May your phone battery last longer than your resolutions – Unknown
- Happy New Year! Let’s keep the chaos fun – Unknown
- Wishing you 12 months of success and 365 days of laughter – Unknown
- May your year sparkle more than glitter – Unknown
- Hope your 2025 is full of laughter and zero drama – Unknown
- Let’s toast to surviving another year of nonsense – Unknown
🍹 Funny Drinking Quotes for New Year
Best Pick: Drink responsibly — don’t spill it.
- My New Year’s resolution is to remember my resolutions after my third drink – Unknown
- Here’s to nights we’ll never remember with friends we’ll never forget – Unknown
- My New Year’s toast: less drama, more margaritas – Unknown
- I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already – Tommy Cooper
- Drink today; detox later – Unknown
- May your champagne be cold and your hangover kind – Unknown
- The best ideas start with, “Let’s open another bottle” – Unknown
- Party like it’s 1999, recover like it’s 2025 – Unknown
- I’m not drinking; I’m celebrating liquid joy – Unknown
- Wine improves with age; I improve with wine – Unknown
- Alcohol doesn’t solve problems, but milk doesn’t either – Unknown
- Keep calm and pour on – Unknown
- Let’s make pour decisions together – Unknown
🎇 Funny Quotes About New Beginnings
Best Pick: Every new beginning comes from someone else’s happy hour.
- New year, new me? Nah, same me, better snacks – Unknown
- This year, I’m turning over a new leaf… after I finish this pizza – Unknown
- Don’t worry about starting fresh; even coffee needs a restart – Unknown
- New beginnings are great until the alarm rings – Unknown
- My new start begins after my nap – Unknown
- Every new beginning deserves a little laughter – Unknown
- This year, I’m choosing progress over perfection – Unknown
- I’m entering 2025 with good vibes and questionable decisions – Unknown
- The future looks bright if you squint – Unknown
- My motto for 2025: survive and shine – Unknown
- New beginnings mean new excuses – Unknown
- I’m not starting over, just continuing dramatically – Unknown
- Every new year is a chance to repeat last year’s fun – Unknown
🎆 Funny Motivational New Year Quotes
Best Pick: If you can’t change the world, at least change your socks.
- Believe in yourself, even if no one else does – Unknown
- Dream big, nap often – Unknown
- You can do anything you set your alarm for – Unknown
- Success comes to those who hit snooze fewer times – Unknown
- Motivation is like Wi-Fi — sometimes it just disappears – Unknown
- Don’t look back, unless there’s cake – Unknown
- Keep going… the weekend’s only five days away – Unknown
- New year, new motivation, same laziness – Unknown
- Failure is just success in progress (with snacks) – Unknown
- If plan A fails, there are 25 more letters – Unknown
- Progress, not perfection — and maybe pizza – Unknown
- Believe in miracles; you survived last year – Unknown
- You got this, unless it’s Monday – Unknown
💫 Funny Quotes About Time and Aging
Best Pick: You’re not getting older, just more experienced at napping.
- Age is just the number of years the world has enjoyed you – Unknown
- Don’t count the years, count the laughs – Unknown
- You know you’re old when midnight feels like bedtime – Unknown
- I’m not aging, I’m marinating – Unknown
- Time flies when you’re having rum – Unknown
- Here’s to growing older but not up – Unknown
- Wrinkles are just laugh lines that got serious – Unknown
- Every birthday adds flavor to life – Unknown
- I may be older, but at least I’m not wiser – Unknown
- The older I get, the earlier “late” becomes – Unknown
- I’m young at heart, slightly older everywhere else – Unknown
- New Year’s is proof that time waits for no one — except hangovers – Unknown
- I’m not old, I’m chronologically gifted – Unknown
✨ Conclusion
And there you have it — the funniest New Year’s quotes to make 2025 full of joy, laughter, and good vibes! Whether you’re celebrating with friends, sending a message, or just looking to brighten your feed, these quotes will bring smiles to everyone around you. Remember, a happy heart and a good laugh are the best ways to start the year!
